NEVER TAKE A SWIM

Dear Diary: This is Slosh again! I have now taken over the planet Earth. The world's population is down to 3,000, and my appetite is quite satisfied.

Dear Diary: Do you remember that guy, Slosh Gorshkin, that took over the Bahamas last week? Well now he rules the world! I plan to write a biography on this fastinating person, so how's this for starters:

Slosh Gorshkin was born April 1,1943, during World War II in Europe. It had just rained, and, while being born on the battlefield, was named after the sound his father made when he came running over to see him. He soon dropped out of kindergarten, and became a caretaker of an old mansion. Little is known about the 27 years that followed, but yesterday, with the help of a Sworshk (don't ask) he came to power by taking over the world in 4½ hours.

Maybe I'll be able to gain more information during his speech tomorrow.

Welcome all! You are the few people that, I have chosen to live with me on the planet earth. To continue to live, you must reproduce very quickly. After all I do get hungry! And remember~ Don't try anything funny~ I remember you people. You laughed at me, wondering what a "Slosh" is. The Smith family isn't laughing. And as long as I own the Sworshk you aren't laughing either. But what happened to your first-born? How about your teenage daughters? Where are they? Next time you are in Africa, look at the Red Sea. Isn't that a strange color? I think it is very appetizing.