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"NOT QUITE FEELING MYSELF TODAY?"

"Ooooohhhhhhhhh," yawned Enad the Great as he rose from a pleasant slumber. "Felt like I slept a hundred years." He let out another stretching tone. There beside him he noticed an 1836 twenty dollar gold-piece. "This has gotta be my lucky day." He picked it up and slipped it into his open shirt pocket. While he was jokingly looking for the treasure chest this might of come from, there another one lay right at his feet. He started to place it next to the other in his pocket when he regrettably remembered the cruel trick the people he had once called friends played on him.

"I never meant any harm to them, now did I?" he mumbled to himself. "No, you didn't," he answered in a dignified tone. There was a pause as he mentally examined himself. "No, if he was right about that, I really would be crazy." He was recalling a discussion he once had with a wise old man. He said that it was alright to talk to one's self just so long as you don't start answering back. "Now if I were going crazy, I wouldn't be noticing it, therefore, I must be perfectly (ah yes, one of those words they use to describe me) sane."

"Now where in the world is that micro-wave mouth." I assume he was refering to Kontroled Working Apparatus and Monitor Konstructed by Ultimate Technologies (I just wish I knew where I could get me one). "Hey, now why in the world are my clothes fading." Now it seemed that everything was going wrong, and although he had the most wonderful company he could have (himself), he was feeling, for the second time in his life, alone.

Enad sat there and recalled the first time that he felt alone, and how his friend came to his aid. He was a gourmet cook who had a heart of gold. "I wonder what ever happened to him," Enad asked himself. He closed his eyes and recalled the good times, the parties, and the laughs they had had together. Slowly he drifted off into a dreamy world.

It was friday evening, just a few hours before the...FRIDAY NIGHT! Enad Jr. was getting ready for the party that his best friend had planned to help him through his worst depression in his life. Enad recalled the promise of plenty of wild women, food, and all out fun. Everyone was going to be there, including the wild T. G. What would a party be without his two best friends? He cleaned up and put on his new outfit he had purchased especially for this occasion. His "glow" was regaining its usual color. "WOW," he said as he looked into the mirror. He went sailing down the stairs to tell his parents goodbye as he was leaving to go to the party.

"How stunning," Enad Senior said as he examined his young pride and joy. He sat back down in his favorite chair, grabbed his chest and started gasping.

"Gee, dad. I didn't think you would approve of this outfit. But since you think I look so great, I'm off." Yes, that was the day Enad Jr. became Enad the Great.

* * *

"...aaahh, go on. Have a drink T. G."

"Sorry, but I don't drink."

"Well, then have another one of these orange juices, spoil-sport."

"Don't mind if I do," he replied, fumbling around the room.

Enad took Kakablik aside to let him know that, while it was quite humorous seeing T. G. drunk, it could ruin his virtuous principles. "You know I'm not that kind of person."

"I'll consider it," Kakablik said as he served the main course-sausage pizza and beer.

Well, the rest of the party can't be recalled by anybody for one reason or another, but effects of it were seen everywhere. It's not every day that you see a whole college campus toilet-papered, or upside down Volkswagens with cows in them. It must of been one wild night, seeing that almost everyone was caught by the cops and no one even knowing why.

But what Enad could remember of the party gave memories of good times with good friends. And what he could never forget was the hangover T. G. had the next evening when he woke up. Aah, yes, those were the days when nothing but a good time was important in a person's life. Funny how now it takes so much to make one happy, or rather, to make one think that he is.

"Eeeek, what a nightmare," Enad shreiked as he awoke. "I guess my whole life is a nightmare, just like the time when my mother remarried to an undertaker. Imagine, I even had to work for him. Oh, the stiffs weren't so bad, but I hated having to work in a place where the motto 'Try Our Layaway Plan' hung on every casket. And to think of the sorry pay I recieved."

"You really should of done something important in your life," Enad cut in to his monologue.

"Yea, you're right. But what has been, has been."

"There I go talking to myself again. Sighhh."

"You know, I'm right. I really should. I bet one of those head-shrinkers could help."

"No, I'm not nuts. If I were, do I think I would think that?"

"Look, if I don't stop talking to myself, it could lead to a split-personality problem."

"Oh, what do I know!"

"Don't ever talk to me in that tone of voice."

"I can do everything. Have I forgotten that I am great?"

"How could I forget that?"

"Now that is an interesting question for one who is great enough to know all."

"But why don't I feel so great any more? I wish Kakablik was here. He knew how to pep up a person-how to put a little flavor in one's life."

"Yea, I remember him too. What a great guy. He knew the secret to happiness...and great tasting pizza too."

"Say, I heard they opened up another pizza restraunt in his chain in Taftville. Would I like to accompany me there for a great meal?"

"You bet I would, if I can get a hold of that bucket of bolts, KWAMKUT."

"Shoot, that may even make me feel good enough to seek the revenge of poor old Kakablik's disappearance.

"Sounds like fun!"


 © 1984, 

L. Charles, D. Conrad, A. Duncan, Enad the Great, J. Pierce, B. C. Randolf, and T. G. Taft

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