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A Connection of Collections

Setting 1: Part I

I slowly walked down the old road, not knowing where I was going or where I had come from. I just knew that I had to be here. The night was gusty, and, fearing that I would be caught in a storm, I fled into an old rickety building sitting by the road. I had no idea what building this was, but, seeing the condition that it lay, I assumed it was uninhabited. I went inside, and was not surprised to find the inside of the house in the shape that it was. There was dirt everywhere, and all the furniture, if you could call it that, was rotted through. Only one item caught my attention. It was a small book lying in the center of the room on a rotted old table. As I picked it up, I noticed that it was not a book, as in a novel, but a book as in a notebook. I slowly opened it, and this is what it had to say:

Pizza Anyone?

It was November 25, a day of feasting. Kakablik Snoodleskee was having the grand opening of his pizza parlor--Kakablik Pizza. From Smivilin the Name Kakablik translates into an expletive meaning, flesh & blood. He got the name when he came to civilization.

You see, His mother was was on a private plane to meet Kakablik's father (K. is still not exactly sure who he was) when it wrecked somewhere in the Nile. The impact of the wreck was so great he was born 1 month premature. The crocodiles ate his mother, but spared Kakablik. He wasn't much of a meal then. At that time he had no sourse of milk so he thrived on the blood of dying creatures.

There had been rescue attemts, but for some odd reason there were people who never returned. When he was finally brought to civilization, he was tried for cannibalism, but the case was release because the officers in charged had used entrapment. (a 3 year old girl--Susan something or other. They also never proved Kakablik was human. (Don't ask))

When he was about 21 he was making an excellent pizza recipe. The critics raved over the food and he became very rich. here might say (had of many mansions, the favorite was the one in the Bahamas) Some staticians became interested when they found that the kidnapping rate greatly increased. It was thought He got word from the underworld and moved to America. That's were Kakablik is today........ his hunger pleasantly satisfied, And others enjoying a uniquely flavored pizza.

Please excuse all typographical errors, as I copied this paper exactly to the letter. Believe me, even this was not easy. As I finished reading the scribbling, I noticed a peculiarity in this writing. "Hmm," I said to myself, "I've read this before. Now when did I have the displeasure...." Suddenly it hit me. "I've got to get out of here," I screamed, "or else..."

Setting 2: Part I

The night was cool and dreary as the bog slowly cooled over the powdery mansion. The only noise in the once great monument was the beautiful, young caretaker, Susan Smith the III, and her boyfriend, Bob the XIV. Suddenly a knock came at the door. Bob, thinking it was the delivery boy from the butcher shop, rushed up to answer it. As he opened the door, a fateful "Sworshk" came through the door and took the two of them to a luminous cloud in the night. They saw, on the cloud, a huge castle in the background. They started running to it, but they fell through the cloud, and landed on top of a city hall. As they slowly got their senses back, they began to smell the odor of blood, coming from a tiny basement below them. As they climbed down to investigate what this "odor" was, a young man and his wife asked for directions. When asked where they wanted to go, the couple couldn't remember. Bob and Susan, who were very bewildered of this strange town, ran away along an old country road.

Suddenly Bob stopped. Susan looked at Bob, and Bob looked at Susan. They looked at each other. There, in the middle of the road, right next to the new high school, was a red pile of goo.

It is now a week later, and the news has hit the newspapers. They found Bob's corpse. Well, not exactly corpse, skeleton. No, not skeleton, uh...remnant? Well, whatever was left; it wasn't with Susan.

Where is Susan? I'm not precisely sure. But I do know who took her. It was my son. And who am I? Let's just leave that for another time, another place. I'm not sure my son, who I had put up for adoption when he was 3 would want to know who his real father is. You see, Susan didn't get all of us in that New York "disaster." Two of us escaped. Well, I must go now. I've got a Sworshk to catch.

Setting 1: Part II

Enad the Great sighed as he sat back in his huge throne. The throne was covered in black, a black, not as a paint, but as though a black-colored moss covered what dire color the throne once held. "I want him!" he screamed as he looked at a television monitor on the side of his throne room. The room was a huge mess of blackness, a blackness not different from his throne. It ppeared to be a room in the woods—for there was no solid floor, and roots seemed to grace the dirt that lay under the area. The roof was huge--it was dome-shaped, and huge florescent lights seemed to spring from the apex. The lights were very dim, though, giving an eerie feeling about the room that one would expect to find in a nightmare. "I want him!" The screen held the picture of a man, running very fast through the woods along an old country trail. "Iiii hheeeeeerr aaaannnd oooobbaaaaaa!" Suddenly, a huge "Swolsk" filled the sky and carried the man off. "Heh, heh, heh" said Enad, "I got you!!!!!!!"

Setting 2: The Sequel

Susan Smith the III was thinking. Hmm. How to get out of here. Right now she was about to be eaten by Cheriderf Retsel, who was standing over her with a huge knife in his hand. Just as she was about to give up, there came a knock on the door. "Now who could that be??" screamed Cheriderf. "As he opened the door, Slosh Gorshkin the II walked in. Cheriderf stared at him, seeing him as a rival. "Oh no, you don't," he exclaimed, "she's all mine!"

"My son," said Slosh. Susan stared at both of them and gasped for a second. "Daddy?" said Cheriderf quietly. "Why did you come now?" "Because, son, We need everybody, including you, Susan, because... well..." "What's the matter?" "Mr. Taft has been captured." Cheriderf and Susan gasped. Slosh the II then said, "Come, let's round up everybody. We must save him!!!!!" All of them left together.

The Connection

The man stared around in disbelief. He felt horrified by the blackness of the walls, the strange and endless dome above him, and especially that funny looking short man sitting in the center of the room. "I've got you!" screamed Enad the Great. "I've got you! Ha Ha Ha Ha!!! !!! !!!!!! Come here once, and see how this feels." Enad took out a huge, silvery sword from his chair and smacked it across the man's back. "I've got you now!!!" He drew the sword up, and, preparing to enjoy the last few seconds of this man, looked at him smirkily. "You thought you had killed me, didn't you? Naw. But if it's war you want, you just lost." Suddenly through the door came a great flame, and through the flame came Slosh Gorshkin the II. "Before you try that, Enad, you're going to have to fight us." In, through the burning flames, came Susan Smith the III, four or five Bobs, Slosh Gorshkin the III (Cheriderf Retsel) and a whole fleet of other T. G. Taft characters.

"Get' em, slaves!" screamed Enad. The battle raged on, but it seemed as though Enad's forces were winning. In fact, they were winning. Winning, that is, until...

"All right. That's enough." T. G. Taft walked in. Behind him came the Sworshk, in all of its power and glory, and it quickly carried off all of Enad's characters, including the dreaded Swolsk. "But I don't understand, I thought this was you..." Enad stuttered. "Don't be silly," T. G. said, "I wouldn't let my guard down like that. And now.... No, I'm not going to kill you. I may need you for a future story. I'm just merely going to, uhm, yes, Plimpkin II, come here. Now open your gateway... Good Bye Enad. Oh, by the way, I've got this Plimpkin protected, and vomitting does not help. I would advise not throwing up, unless, well, you might like smelling like that."

"Wait... one more thing," said Enad, "who is that man over there who looks so much like you?"

"Why, who else? That is T. G. Taft the II." With those final words Enad the Great slid quietly into the Plimpkin's storage compartment.

 © 1984, 

T. G. Taft

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