Solar System Shock
by Alfredd Mann
said Taft, as the mysterious stranger left his room. "I must contact
Suralio," he said to himself, while pondering the events of the last two
It all started after
dinner, when Taft was relaxing in his room. There was a knock at the door, and
Taft was greeted with, "The Honorably Evil Ingstram Von Burlich requires
your audience. I am Johansen, his first Assistant. You will meet with him
exactly two weeks from today, on the fourth moon of Jupiter in this solar
meaning of this?" Taft said, panic stricken.
"There is a new
threat for the 'brothers Iffley' to contend with. My Lord Van Burlich has
determined that this solar system requires his presence."
"What is it your
dimenseness?" said Johansen.
"How will I get
to the fourth moon of Jupiter, even if I leave this minute, in two
"My Lord will
send for you. He has the fastest ship in the galaxy, also known as The
goodness!" exclaimed Taft. He was beginning to wonder if this were a
joke. He reached for his communicator to call for some security help, when
Johansen took out a DuoDeath MegaWhammy pistol and zorched it. Almost with
"There will be no
need for outside help." Johansen stated.
"That lousy son
of a so and so, you take me to this Von Burlich character! I demand
compensation for my communicator, and the big black spot on the wall! Take me
NOW! I don't want to wait two weeks."
On the bridge of the
Fashigal, Ingstram was enjoying his monthly issue of Evil and Mean
Things To Do, when he received a message from Johansen.
wishes to see you now," said Johansen.
"Fine, I'll be there in a few minutes. Ingstram sat back in his
command chair and told the navigator to prepare the MegaStar SuperScreamer
Drive for a short trip to Earth. The navigator nodded in readiness.
We must pause here for an explanation of what is about to happen.
Ingstram's favorite pastime was to start the MSSSD without telling his crew.
Then, surprise! They were all thrown against the nearest wall at a velocity
equal to very fast. Now back to our story:
Ingstram chuckled to
himself as he nodded to the navigator, who "hit the switch," and
they were off. As they pulled into orbit around the Earth, there were massive
screams. He loved it. "Prepare to transport Johansen and the earthling to
said the computer.
"So I finally get
to meet the famous T.G. Taft, and soon, his Bubba, Suralio Frith Iffley,"
he said to himself as he headed for the meeting hall.
"What is the
meaning of this!" Taft screamed. "I demand compensation for my
communicator and big black spot on the wall!"
"You will demand
Taft whirled around to
see a huge man dressed in black, with gold spikes on his knuckles. "And
just who are you, the local 'beat me till I die' person?"
"Hardly. I am the
Honorably Evil Ingstram Von Burlich, soon to be ruler of the galaxy. I am here
to take your solar system under the name of Von Burlich, and to opress yo to
dare," said Taft cooly, as he reached down to his homing transmitter. He
flicked the switch. "Now just to play it cool until help arrives,"
"I don't have
time for coolness, Taft. You are here for one purpose, and one purpose only.
To be my liason to Earth. You will carry out my orders on planet, and you well
enjoy it. Do you understand?'
"Over my dead
chuckled and walked out. Taft tried to follow, but the doors were shut
immediately and locked. "Come on Bubba, give mea hand up here" he
said to himself as he sat down on the floor.
Ingstram returned to
the bridge to await Iffley's arrival. He knew that he would come, he had to.
Taft was his flesh and blood, even if he didn't like it. "Continue orbit,
| ||© 1985, ||K. Blaire, L. Charles, D. Conrad, Enad the Great, A. Mann, J. Pierce, B. C. Randolf, and T. G. Taft|