THANK GOODNESS FOR THE FFA

It was a warm autumn day, and the sun was smiling upon the cementifu1 school of Smithfield Jr. High. Few, if any, knew that it would become a day that would last in the hearts and minds of generations to come. This was the day that "that great terrific author for television" was born. That first story, written merely for an English assignment, created a huge chain reaction that has created Never Eat Ketchup, The Descendants, The C1oud Without a Lining, Until . . . , and many others. To what seems a tragedy for-all, few people have ever even read this story! Therefore, with great pleasure, I now present to all the reading public:

The wind was blowing nastily as the rain came pouring down on top of the little English-style house. Inside, Jack and his parents were going about their normal Friday night chores. Mother was washing the dishes in the kitchen, Father was watching Dallas in the livingroom, and Jack was in his bedroom, busily thinking about tomorrow’s date with Kathy. Ah yes. Heh, heh, heh. Suddenly he heard a knock at the door. Mother opened it, and a strange gas began to fill the room.

The next thing Jack knew he was lying on a large table, and a man with a knife was snickering beside him. Suddenly the man cut off both of Jack’s arms. He said: "I'm sorry son, but my daughter has this weird condition. She can only eat blood." He then cut off both of Jack's legs. That's when he saw it. Behind the old man was a pot full of boiling water.

The man picked up Jack’s torso and began to move him toward the water. Suddenly a scream rose through the room. "Dang! It's my daughter. She's hungry again." The man put Jack back on the table, and ran upstairs carrying a bucket. Jack began to wibble and wobble, and finally- he rolled off the table. Then he crawled out the open door, and into the street. Suddenly he heard the man's yell behind him. He crawled harder. He could feel the blood dribbling out of his arm pits. BlooP. Bloop. Bloop. Just as the man was going to grab him, a farmer saw them and scared the man away. Jack was reunited with his parents, and they lived happily ever after. All except the old man's daughter, that is. She died from lack of nutrition.